I am worried about tomorrow and what’s to come.

As early as I can bring myself to do tomorrow, I wake up and take the 8 hour journey back to Pennsylvania.

I’ve applied for 15 jobs in the past two days. I’ve been applying to so many and coming across just as many scams and schemes, that I’m running out of things to apply for. It’s all I can think about though…Just how much it is that I require employment.

I already have possible apartment choices, now I just need the funds.

I just know that my options do not include my parents. If need be, they are there. But I don’t want that need to be…you know?

I’m worried. At my age,with my parents,it’s not the best of situations to have to crawl back to.

I’m worried about getting into an argument. I’m worried about something being said about my job situation (guarantee you that, after almost 2 months of little contact, that’s the first thing they are going to ask me).

I’m worried that they are going to be nice, and then be mean later and throw it back in my face how they did said nice thing.

It’s overwhelming.

But you know what? *inhale* I remain hopeful. *exhale* I keep applying for jobs, even went back to applying for retail management positions. Monday I am getting all fancied up, nose retainers go in and off I go to several places of potential future employment, hoping that I can secure a few things, at least get interviews.

Wednesday, I head to Jersey to the band practice of the band I will be touring with as of next Thursday. Then I am on the road until June 11th. Should be pretty sweet. I’m excited. And worried, of course. But mainly excited.

I hope that I get to return to some sort of employment. If (and when) I do…I then be applying for apartments for a July 1st move-in date, if not earlier, as my things need to be out of my parents old place by June 16th.

It should be interesting to say the least.

I’m excited and anxious, but I remain hopeful.

Now…if the heart palpitations would just stop.