This has been a really hard month. It’s still so fucking weird that he is not here. In a few months it will be a year.

It hurts to breath right now.

It’s so unfair that a part of me feels angry for I feel like he just gave up because he was scared to die.

I just remember those two moments of him breaking down into tears and to see this man, who has literally been my entire life, in so much pain and no way to help him. Never once, do I remember hating this man or being angry with him. I would have done anything in the entire world for him.

I feel so broken.